Sex With Split Personalities: Or How I Got Left Mid-Sex When Consent Changed

Everyone has a crazy phase right? Well I was once seeing a guy who turned out to be quite crazy.

Like, split personality crazy.

I didn't know this at the time we started seeing each other. We had connected through a mutual friend online and he was really nice and sweet and said lovely things about me. He could read energies and talk to ghosts, which I honestly didn't think was crazy at the time and just found interesting. We were talking and seeing each other over a couple of weeks before I invited him around to stay at my house. He was talking about his dysfunctional relationship with his father when I got the urge to kiss him and make it better.

We started kissing, and I lead him to the bedroom, which was where things started to get weird. And weird for me. Like I do kinky stuff all the time and am in no way vanilla, but this was just weird.

After shucking our clothes I started going down on him and he just lay there. I've been told numerous times that I give head like a porn star so to hear nothing and feel nothing from him was the first sign of oddness (actually the reading of energies and the talking to ghosts was probably the first signs). He just lay there, not making a sound or a movement, as I took his cock in my mouth.

Did he even like this?

Figuring he didn't, I jumped on top and inserted him inside me and started to ride him but again he didn't really make any motions or movements. Suddenly he grabbed me and turned me around so that he was lying on top of me yet still inside me. But he stopped moving. We were just lying there.

"I'm going to go have a smoke," he said, still on top of me.

"Right now?" I asked, "We're kind of in the middle of something here,"

"Just think of it as teasing," he said, before he pulled himself out of me, climbed off me, put on his pants and left the room.

I lay there flat on my bed staring at the ceiling. What the fuck just happened?

When it became clear he wasn't coming back I got off the bed and put on some clothes. I came out into the kitchen and sure enough there he was having a smoke outside on the patio.

"Is everything ok?" I asked

"Yeah, fine" he said. He finished his cigarette before he explained he had split personalities and everything had happened so fast that he just needed to stop. I told him that was fine, but I was obviously weirded out. While he stayed for the rest of the night and we slept (just slept) in the same bed (in which he told me the next morning that he had watched me sleep for signs of breathing during the night) he had completely shut himself off, and had become quiet and reserved. He was not the person I had come to known, and I was no longer comfortable with him.

He left the next morning, and we never really spoke of it again because we never really spoke again. I wanted to let him down easy, least if I broke his heart and he came at me with a knife or something, but I think he realised it wasn't going to happen. He started talking to someone else and I took his silence as a good sign. I allowed him to believe that he made the decision to end things, so that he was comfortable enough not to be a threat.

It was a super weird experience - a) being left during mid-sex and never returning, and b) having someone with split personalities suddenly reside in your house. I've learnt from the experience though that you have to be start to understand and know the facets of people before inviting them into your home, and to be comfortable in their company before you allow them completely in. You never know what is going on behind closed doors.

Also, consent is super important and that you should always check in if something feels wrong or off. If I had asked when he first gave me the signs that he was shutting down, I wouldn't have felt terrible when he left me mid-sex and he would have been more comfortable too. Checking in is always sexy, and you should always do so!

Photo by Jen Rachid