The Masochist And The Beast: How I Popped A Blood Vessel In My Eye Getting Choked Out

In the last year or so I started getting more and more into BDSM. It started off as a simple request for choking – the guy I was with was someone I had been seeing for a while and was a paramedic so I trusted that he would revive me if I fell unconscious, but I was also in a bad way emotionally. I wanted to be hurt in masochistic way and I sought out different ways to feel physical pain as a way to feel something other than the aching of my broken heart.

So naturally, I wanted to be choked. I had done it a lot in martial arts, and I enjoyed the sensation of being on the edge of hurt.

This is probably a bad feeling. But I’m not here to tell you what’s right or wrong. I’m here to tell you about my experiences and what I have learnt from them. That way if you decide to dabble in this very fun form of sex play you can do so safely.

The choking escalated from there. A few people were enticed by the idea but no one was strongly inclined to choke me to within an inch of my breath. This was probably a good thing, as I was able to learn what I liked and what I didn’t like and grow from there.

The last guy I was seeing was as down with the experimental play as I was and happy to oblige. One of the first times we had sex he knelt me on the bed and used a long purple rope to expertly tie up my legs in place. He tied my hands to the bed in front of me so I was all trussed up and kneeling in front of him, ass in the air. He put on a collar and a leash around my neck and proceeded to fuck me, pulling on the leash and choking me in this tied up position.

God damn it was hot.

After our relationship ended I started seeing another guy who was totally into my little kink. When we started sleeping together he invited me over to his house for a rendezvous. He told me not to wear panties and to put something on that he would leave at the door.

It was a blindfold. Yum.

I put the blindfold on and knocked and he pulled me into the house and ravaged me against the front hallway wall. I sucked his cock before he led me to his bedroom. It was so hot having no idea where I was going.

He pushed me on the bed, took my clothes off and left me in nothing but my heels. He put me on my knees and buckled a harness around – oh yes, boy had a harness! This was getting serious.

The harness cuffed around my ankle and moved up around my neck and down again to the other ankle. It was tied into place and pulled so that the strap was tight around my neck. He put my vibrator into my pussy and I sucked him on in front of me while he spanked my ass hard.

Eventually he moved to the edge of the bed and entered me, fucking me hard from behind. He pulled my head back and tightened the strap.

In the throes of the rising orgasm, my air supply started to cut off. I was being completely choked, way harder than I ever had before – even during martial arts. I was on the edge, and suddenly I was plummeting forward. The world disappeared for a second, the strap loosened slightly and I breathed, and then it tightened again.

This guy is a bodybuilder, so when I say it was tight, it was tight.

Unlike my pussy right now.

He finally came, and the strap bit into my air supply. After a few final thrusts I was able to speak. “Loosen the straps babe,” I said, and he did. He untied me and we collapsed onto the bed, exhausted.

It was only after I had gone to the bathroom to freshen up that I had discovered that during our little choking session, I had actually ruptured a blood vessel in my eye. I now had demonic eyes.

He’s left me bruised with bite marks and a tight throat, but now this was something very obvious. I had to tell everyone it was from martial arts to avoid getting the cops called on him.

While popping a blood vessel in your eye due to excessive choking is not what you want to do, I fully consented to all activities and actually quite enjoyed feeling the rush of the choke. I can see why people can sometimes kill themselves if they are enjoying this act alone – it is quite dangerous.

Passing out completely is bad, so to avoid the danger there are several things you need to do. You need to make sure your partner is aware of the “tap out” used in martial arts. When you’re air supply is getting cut off you can’t speak so having a safe word doesn’t help. You need to have a quick tap (on a body part, on the bed, a kick anything) that will act as your safe word so that if you are too far into the choking precipice your partner knows when to give you a hand and let you back in.

You also need to make sure you are completely comfortable using these new toys. It’s all about having fun and experimenting so you don’t need to take things to seriously. If you object to the use of anything make it known. There is nothing sexier than consent.

Hopefully we can avoid some bloody eyes while we’re at it!

Photo by Daisy Romwall